Listen my children, of the most horrible person I have encountered (and I am an officer in Ahoy, I’ve met some nasty people in my days.)
Ok here goes, Alexander is nasty from his oily hair to his perfectly clean black shoes.
Firstly, his appearance: he has perfect neat black gelled hair (it has so much gel it’s oily!) He has the most supreme tan, his skin so smooth you could sleep on it, ugh so perfect. His suit spotless, un-crumpled, it’s the usual type, white undershirt, black-tie, pants and top. Finally, his shoes are black as the rest of his outfit, black, and same as the rest of him they are well, speckles.
Secondly, why he’s so evil: I feel he has many evil goals, but of course he’s just really plain …. EVIL, otherwise he wouldn’t of signed the degree of evility, tut-tut he really isn’t what you would expect ‘im to be from his appearance.
Thirdly, his relationships: Laura, you know – good old responsible Laura, Kindersley, just the same as ‘is son, plain evil, last but obviously not last … ME!
Now that you know my secret I will have to murder you mwa-haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!