Tales From Landlocked: Earl’s Story by Cushla Grigg

The raucous laughter echoed around the cosy warm tavern as a couple of drunks told different stories or corrected each other’s.
        “Okay I got a good one,” an unknown voice shouted from the crowd, interrupting Barnabas’s story. Everyone sighed when they realised who it was: Nyx the pixie!
        “We’ll listen to your stupid story,” a VERY drunken female bar attendant decided.
        “Here goes, deep in the dark ages (which was just before Ahoy was founded) where gnomes ruled all the lands. Earl Grey was pointing his humungous sword (which was too big to fit in both of his grubby hands) at which of his soldiers he wanted to do separate jobs, which were too messy for him in (this case all of them!)”
        At this (almost) the whole tavern heaved with empathy for the soldiers and started shouting ways to make their lives better.
        “Hey I’m trying to tell a story here, settle down settle down.” The crowd did NOT obey orders, they just continued shouting about. “SETTLE DOWN!” this time screaming and stomping his foot, they listened, they actually listened!
        “Okay where was I? Oh right I was telling a whoopin’ great story ‘bout Earl, Earl Grey here we go. Earl wanted to found a town and name it after his granny Ahola but it is hard to do when you are a goblin, oh yes I forgot to mention Earl was a goblin.”
        The tavern gasped but let Nyx continue his probably not true story
        “Earl turned around to stare at the sunlit lake the way it shimmered was very entrancing SUDDENLY a hand shot out behind him nearly knocking him into the cool waters of the emerald lake sadly his magnificent sword plummeted into the beautiful rippling sapphire waters but somehow the sword seemed to change the lake’s colour magically almost!”
        And with that he walked out of Landlocked!